Hmmmm, who will be the lucky therapist that I get to start doing some work with? I have gone to therapy for at least 4yrs. I went on a regular basis about 2 yrs back then I stopped. I can be pretty good at finding self help books or magazines and apply the DIY method...
I admit I have a difficult time with seeing myself pay so much money to figure things out when I could easily read about something and then put it into place.
I like to go to therapy because I really do enjoy learning about how we function in life. I like to figure out how people cope with issues. I enjoy gaining that insight as to why we do what we do and when we do it.
It is a jumbled mess that gets to start to unravel and become untangled. I believe that it is important to continue with the untangling and unraveling periodically to recalibrate yourself. To remember what tools you were given to use at the specific time.
We are amazing beings in the way of how we hold so much information to how we want to be, but yet we tend to get in our own way.
Our minds can jumble information or our day to day workings and struggles tend to jam up the circuits. We get old information mixed in with new information. It can be a funny little predicament we see ourselves in.
I know a lot of my issues are dealing with adoption, which can fall into the same workings as attachment issues, grief, loss and bereavement, identity issues, isolation, trauma... those are the main issues that I can identify with for now... I do feel there are some more in there that I can work on. Oh yes, LGBT issues.
I know that our bodies are great holders of memories in our cells. We can store things in our cells for years and wonder where those feelings or thoughts came from that felt as if they came out of nowhere.
When I turned 29, I hit the astrological term "Saturn return." It is a place that I tend to describe as the place where you put your "stuff" you don't want to deal with on a shelf and that shelf has crashed down behind you and now you have to deal with it weather you really wanted to or not. Now, the "stuff" has been accumulated over lots and lots of years. It crashes around you and you yelp " oh FU@K! I thought I got rid of you!
In being in relationships I have come to learn that if you have reoccurring "stuff" that comes up for you it is definitely your "stuff" you need to deal with. The other person maybe has nothing to do with it except just being the person who is standing closest to you. You tend to grab that person cause you are still in shock that it fell and say "here's the broom, you clean it up please?" That doesn't work cause it will come back to make you clean it up later when you really don't want it to. Dang it!
I choose to go to a therapist and have them help me figure out how to deal with the mess. Sometimes the mess is so dark even flashlights can't quite light it up enough. Other times the light comes on the minute you walk in the door and you wonder why you needed to come in. Either way it is about taking care of yourself. Growing, understanding and learning about yourself fully and authentically.
All of that being said... it is time for me to go back to a therapist! Wish me luck and send me those happy place thoughts!
No comments:
Post a Comment