Am I Enough...? Jan 19th 2011

   I have been craving more culture and diversity in my life.  I look around at the magazines in stores... I watch television... I see the people in my town...  There is a very small amount of diversity where ever I look.

  I grew up with a caucasian family...  I grew up in a place where I was what made the town a little more diverse... This is something that is also true now.  There is more diversity here than where I grew up.  I live in a college town so that brings in some diversity.  

  The sports I am interested in are mostly sports done by caucasian people.  Climbing, snowboarding, there are a couple of other sports.  The question is are Indians busy studying or is it that some of these sports are for people who have money and live in certain areas? 

   When I was in New York over the holidays I was blown away with the amount of diversity that was around me.  I would have loved to have seen more of the queer diversity.  I think that is starting to show up more.  

   Really the places I would like to see more diversity is on shows, in magazines, as public figures.  I know we are starting to get to that place where there are more and more awareness of other cultures and genders around.  I find that someone is making it easy for people to stay stuck in stereotypes of what people are supposed to be like.   

  Take for example... the bachlor, it is a show I am drawn to like a bad accident.  Where is the diversity?  One guy after a wife?  The bachlorette... one woman after a husband?  Really you are supposed to find a  partner after only a few weeks?  I only see the choices being incredibly narrow.  I have yet to see a person of color be the main person... I have yet to see a man or woman on the show who is bi?  It seems  straight and narrow to me.   

   I know this maybe isn't the best example as a show to pick apart, but I am using it to say that it is quite frustrating trying to feel as if I am enough when it seems as if all I see around me are not people of color, or  queer people represented in the mainstream life.   I would love to know how people grow up and gain the strength they need to know they are enough and okay?  Even if you didn't watch TV, you still would notice it in magazines or movies.  

   There is always the white male who gets the main role in saving the world.  Even the female doesn't get the lead now does she really?  Then there is the black male who is sometimes the sidekick.  There is a heirarchy of who gets to play which role... it can be irriating after a while and makes watching movies boring and predicatble.  
 6-12-11
  I am starting to step into the place that I do know that I am enough.  This is something that I have had to accept for myself completely. Yes, I have moments of not believing it all the time.  Other moments of fully feeling it and believing it.